He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
