No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
