Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
