She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
