Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
