Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
