I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
