This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
barbara walters just said penis...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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