Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
