I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My vagina just clenched in fear
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
