youre lurking in front of me
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
