i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
