DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize