we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize