I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
