I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
