OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
