like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
