She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize