Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
