how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
