Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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