If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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