i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
