I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize