I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
