i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize