Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
