i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just googled if crying burns calories
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
there is glitter all over my balls
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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