You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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