So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
