We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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