if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
