someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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