My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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