I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
