so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
