Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
