I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
