TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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