His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
