5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
