This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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