Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
