there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
