Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
