It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
