just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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