spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
