doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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