I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
