so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
