Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize