Having a random hookup so left but love u
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
