i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
