dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
