yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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