I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
