Umm I'm too high to move.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
