i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
