I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
