Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
