If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I don't deserve a penis
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
