I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
