I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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