I must be too annoying 4 u.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
