I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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