i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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