Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I FOUND THE LEGS
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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